COMMON SENSE REFRESHER COURSE NEEDED FOR MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT

If my last post sounded too speculative for some, this may have something to do with the strange mix of gases in the upper atmosphere and the difficulty of sustaining common sensory equilibrium as one comes down to earth. Nevertheless, the experience has given me new insights into the problems encountered by Members of Parliament and others who have risen up in the world. Although these people may have started out with their fair share of common sense, and in some cases considerable low cunning, the effects of high office, or powerful computer systems, on them can be quite disastrous. Just reflect for a momemt on the ongoing problems of globalised financial services! However, it is on our Honourable Members that I wish to focus here.

Today we learn that a report called “Britain Unchained” is to be published at the forthcoming Conservative Party Conference – to which, incidentally, The Witch of Worcester would like an invitation – wherein British labour is blamed for a lack of work ethic. WoW Enterprises meanwhile is considering the publication of a counterblast entitled “Keeping UK Elites On A Leash”, which will highlight the importance of promoting common sense amongst the governing classes, with obligatory Continuing Professional Development. The reason for this is simple, the decline of common sense has a profoundly demotivating effect on The Big Society, London Olympic successes notwithstanding, which accounts for a range of socio-economic problems in whose existence there is general agreement.

NEW WOW ENTERPRISES AND THE THROCKMORTON SPACEPORT PROJECT

Whilst some readers may have suspected this witch had been struck down after her last post, in fact she was beamed up into outer space and has spent the last year touring known and unknown universes only to return to earth again on Monday. However, before her descent she did watch the Olympic closing ceremony with some friendly extra-terrestrials, enjoying a really good laugh at the spectacle : think 1970s television advertisement for SMASH potato mix if you will. It was, well, so twentieth century!

The past few days have been spent catching up with correspondence, including inter-galactic communications, as well as earthly news. Having enjoyed the delights of space travel so much, the Witch of Worcester has decided to promote a new transport hub to enable other travellers to join her on future trips. She will, therefore, be promoting Throckmorton airfield in South Worcestershire as the location for this spaceport through her new venture WOW enterprises.

Fortunately, the launch of a further consultation on “major changes” to the South Worcestershire Development Plan provides the ideal opportunity to promote the Throckmorton Spaceport Project (STP) through the local planning system. Readers should be assured that the STP proposal is thoroughly sustainable, and that ecological technologies light years ahead of those currently available on earth will be employed, as WOW Enterprises has access to the most galactically advanced knowledge and systems.

Moreover, to put STP in the context of other strategic infrastructure proposals like “Boris Airport” in the Thames Gateway, whose construction supporters claim will maintain London’s position as the centre of the known universe for the next 500 years, WOW Enterprises can assure policy-makers that a South Worcestershire spaceport will secure Middle England’s position at the centre of the known and unknown universes until the next millennium. Beat that one Boris!