BREAKFAST TALK AT BELMARSH PRISON

“Now, how about a spot of prison breakfast?” said Ken Clarke to Andy Coulson. Having recently been head-butted in the canteen, Coulson was glad of a minder and Clarke looked as if he could still throw a punch like John Prescott. However, arriving in the food queue the con who had broken Coulson’s glasses became civil in the QC’s presense. In fact, he turned out to be a great admirer of the former Chancellor and bemoaned the “light-weight PR people”, to use Clarke’s words, who had taken over British politics. Turning to Coulson, the con apologised for losing his temper the previous day. His real problem, it turned out, was media regulation and, in particular the Press Complaints Commission. “A useless joke!” said Clarke, referring to the Commission, whilst eating a bacon sandwich with rather more style than Ed Miliband. “There’s nothing new about biased journalists and their lack of adherence to the facts, of course”, he continued, “as I told the Leveson Inquiry”: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/press/snooping-journalists-forced-ken-clarke-to-move-bank-account-7804640.html Coulson remained silent during this exchange, fearful of reigniting the wrath of the head-butter. He had declined the fried breakfast in favour of porridge – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porridge_%28TV_series%29 – and wondered whether switching the conversation to the needs of prisoners for a healthier lifestyle, in his case in an open prison, might be a good idea, or one to save until later….to be continued.