With the publication of the first papal encyclical on “our common home” earlier this week http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jun/18/pope-francis-encyclical-extract , the environment will also take centre stage at the Church of England’s General Synod in York next month http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/articles/2015/19-june/news/uk/environment-is-top-of-general-synod-agenda-in-york Just as well because the earth has entered a new period of extinction, a study by three US universities has concluded, and humans could be among the first casualties http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-33209548
Category Archives: Religion/Spirituality
THAT HIDEOUS STRENGTH BY C S LEWIS
0In case readers should think that the Witch of Worcester is possessed by some “deviltry”, to quote the 20th century Anglican theologian, Oxford scholar and fantasy writer C S Lewis, she would like to reassure them that this is most certainly not the case. Indeed, the Witch is currently re-reading “That Hideous Strength” – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/That_Hideous_Strength – “A Modern Fairy-Tale for Grown-Ups” and “tall story about deviltry” according to its Christian author http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C._S._Lewis and strongly recommends the book to all concerned with the future of this world and the next.
“WICKED AND EVIL” POLITICAL PARTIES
0Without wishing to express support for any political party, the Witch of Worcester was surprised to hear Lib-Dem Sir Malcolm Bruce describe UKIP as a “wicked and evil” one on BBC Radio 4’s “Any Questions” on Friday http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b04pcd5f Before using such intemperate language, Sir Malcolm – sounding like a spokesman for the Scottish Kirk in John Buchan’s historical novel “Witch Wood” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witch_Wood – might have recalled that his onetime esteemed colleague the former Lib-Dem MP Sir Cyril Smith is reputed to have sexually abused numerous children from orphanages in Manchester between 1960 and 1987: http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/sep/15/twenty-people-police-abused-cyril-smith Politics and politicians certainly have a dark side, but the one thing that can be said about UKIP is theirs seems rather more visible than those of other parties.
Meanwhile, disgraced ex-Labour MP, and onetime Europe Minister, Denis MacShane wrote a letter in The Guardian on Friday to fellow former guest of Her Majesty’s Prison system ex-Conservative spin doctor Andy Coulson – http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/nov/21/andy-coulson-prison-others-guilty-policy The letter concludes: “….now I wouldn’t have missed Belmarsh for anything in the world. I learned loads, not least about myself. Good luck and show ’em the stuff British hacks are made of.”
A QUEEN’S COUNSEL PROPOSES ASTROLOGY
0Continues the story* of ex-newspaper hack and government spin doctor Andy Coulson in Belmarsh Prison….
Still fastidious about his appearance, the dapper Coulson was slightly horrified by the entrance of the dishevelled former Justice Secretary and Chancellor of the Exchequer (the last one to pass on a surplus) in to his prison cell. Ken Clarke then lit up a cigar (despite the smoking ban) and offered him a shot from his hip flask which Coulson declined. The veteran MP looked as if he’d been to a late night jazz bash and then slept in his suit. “Hair of the dog, old boy!” said Clarke as he took a swig of whisky. “You may be surprised to hear this Coulson, but I’ve been consulting your stars”. It transpired that a fellow Conservative MP had recently come out as an astrologer – http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-28464009 – and other parliamentarians were also now following the ancient art. “According to your chart”**, the Queen’s Counsel continued, “this stay at Her Majesty’s Pleasure was foretold in your stars. My recommendation, therefore, is that you plead guilty to all charges laid against you and ask for leniency in sentencing. The period of confinement may be used for astrological studies so that, upon release, you can seek employment as a media astrologer”. This wasn’t a bad idea, thought Coulson, not a bad idea at all. Things were starting to look up. What was that old saying about lying in the gutter, but looking at the stars?*** (….to be continued).
* More on this story can be found at: http://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/2014/jul/28/-sp-bullying-hypocrisy-andy-coulson-reign-news-of-the-world-hack-attack-nick-davies and http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28487299
** http://solarisastrology.blogspot.co.uk/2011/07/andy-coulson-david-camerons-aide.html
***Oscar Wilde — ‘We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.’
SENTENCED AT HER MAJESTY’S PLEASURE
0“Sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care”. Shakespeare, Macbeth
Sentenced at Her Majesty’s Pleasure*, Andy Coulson – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Coulson – was dreaming in his Belmarsh Prison cell. His plan to raise the literacy of fellow inmates had not started off well. The disgraced ex-newspaper editor, and former Number 10 spin doctor, had just had his glasses broken by another con (criminal) upset by a story Coulson had once spun. His dreams, however, were reassuring. Coulson was taken under the wing of an older man bearing some resemblance to Ken Clarke http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Clarke ( a former criminal lawyer), who then turned in to Fletcher, the Ronnie Barker character in the long-running TV sitcom Porridge – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porridge_%28TV_series%29 Afterwards came a visit from Lord Archer – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Archer – in which the peer recommended Coulson start to write about his prison experiences and a novel with the object of securing a lucrative publication deal. Then an angelic figure appeared to descend from the ceiling above him. At first, Coulson thought it was the spirit of Rupert Murdoch – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rupert_Murdoch – but turned the figure out to be Johnathan Aitken http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Aitken offering spiritual support. Next came his former lover Rebekah Brooks – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebekah_Brooks – with the news that she was hacking out with David Cameron again and that a peerage for Coulson was on the way so that he could run a government department – probably Culture, Media and Sport – from his prison cell, assisted by fellow inmates in the interests of social inclusivity. However, there must be no tell-all memoirs of his days as the prime minister’s director of communications. Rebekah disappeared as Coulson awoke to the sound of his name being called out by a screw (prison guard) and the words “there’s a Queen’s Counsel here to see you”. Then in walked Ken Clarke – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Clarke#mediaviewer/File:Ken_Clarke.jpg – now a free man freshly re-shuffled out of government, apparently to offer his services….(to be continued)
CONTEMPORISING TALES FROM CHAUCER
0Readers of the Witch of Worcester’s blog will be aware that tensions between the religious or spiritual life and more worldly temptations provide something of a touchstone. In this respect, the Witch’s great literary hero is the medieval English poet Geoffrey Chaucer, and she is today called upon to make a comparison between two characters in The Canterbury Tales and figures from contemporary English life.
The first such character is Chaucer’s Prioress who is described thus in the Tales’ Prologue:
……Ther was also a nonne, a prioresse,
119: That of hir smylyng was ful symple and coy;
120: Hire gretteste ooth was but by seinte loy;
121: And she was cleped madame eglentyne…..
151: Ful semyly hir wympul pynched was,
152: Hir nose tretys, hir eyen greye as glas,
153: Hir mouth ful smal, and therto softe and reed;
154: But sikerly she hadde a fair forheed;
155: It was almoost a spanne brood, I trowe;
156: For, hardily, she was nat undergrowe.
157: Ful fetys was hir cloke, as I was war….
160: And theron heng a brooch of gold ful sheene,
161: On which ther was first write a crowned a,
162: And after amor vincit omnia.
This account conjures up a lady vicar (Vicaress) whom the Witch encountered yesterday, clad in high heels and a rather tight grey suit (albeit with dog collar) which would not have looked out-of-place on the Duchess of Cambridge, should she ever decide to become a Church of England priest. However, the Witch couldn’t help but think that such attire might evoke in some minds a saucy amalgam – a sort of ecclesiastical dominatrix called “Madame Eglentyne” – of the famed “Tarts and Vicars” costumes. She was, therefore, interested to read in The Mail newspaper that a member of the Duchess’s extended Royal family, Beatrice York, was herself recently crowned queen at a “Tarts and Vicars” party: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2629944/Beatrice-crowned-queen-tarts-vicars-party-Sixth-line-throne-wore-imperial-crown-friends-soiree.html
Moving on to another Chaucerian analogy, the disgraced “Crystal Methodist” Paul Flowers – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Flowers_%28banker%29 – has more than something of the quality of the Canterbury Tales’ Friar about him:
208: A frere ther was, a wantowne and a merye,
209: A lymytour, a ful solempne man.
210: In alle the ordres foure is noon that kan
211: So muchel of daliaunce and fair langage….
214: Unto his ordre he was a noble post.
215: Ful wel biloved and famulier was he
216: With frankeleyns over al in his contree…
218: For he hadde power of confessioun,
219: As seyde hymself, moore than a curat,
220: For of his ordre he was licenciat.
221: Ful swetely herde he confessioun,
222: And plesaunt was his absolucioun:
223: He was an esy man to yeve penaunce,
224: Ther as he wiste to have a good pitaunce.
225: For unto a povre ordre for to yive
226: Is signe that a man is wel yshryve;
227: For if he yaf, he dorste make avaunt,
228: He wiste that a man was repentaunt;
229: For many a man so hard is of his herte,
230: He may nat wepe, althogh hym soore smerte.
231: Therfore in stede of wepynge and preyeres
232: Men moote yeve silver to the povre freres….
239: Therto he strong was as a champioun.
240: He knew the tavernes wel in every toun
241: And everich hostiler and tappestere
242: Bet than a lazar or a beggestere;
243: For unto swich a worthy man as he
244: Acorded nat, as by his facultee,
245: To have with sike lazars aqueyntaunce.
246: It is nat honest, it may nat avaunce,
247: For to deelen with no swich poraille,
248: But al with riche and selleres of vitaille.
249: And over al, ther as profit sholde arise,
250: Curteis he was and lowely of servyse.
251: Ther nas no man nowher so vertuous.
252: He was the beste beggere in his hous;
252.1: (and yaf a certeyne ferme for the graunt;
252.2: Noon of his bretheren cam ther in his haunt;)
253: For thogh a wydwe hadde noght a sho,
254: So plesaunt was his in principio,
255: Yet wolde he have a ferthyng, er he wente.
256: His purchas was wel bettre than his rente.
257: And rage he koude, as it were right a whelp.
258: In love-dayes ther koude he muchel help,
259: For ther he was nat lyk a cloysterer
260: With a thredbare cope, as is a povre scoler,
261: But he was lyk a maister or a pope.
262: Of double worstede was his semycope,
263: That rounded as a belle out of the presse.
264: Somwhat he lipsed, for his wantownesse,
265: To make his englissh sweete upon his tonge;
266: And in his harpyng, whan that he hadde songe,
267: His eyen twynkled in his heed aryght,
268: As doon the sterres in the frosty nyght.
269: This worthy lymytour was cleped huberd.
Chaucerian scholars will be aware that the Friar falls out with his fellow pilgrim the Summoner – in a manner not too dissimilar to the former Reverend Flowers’ falling out with gentlemen of the press – and a vitriolic tale on the subject of the excesses of Summoners ensues – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Friar%27s_Tale – recalling recent scenes outside the courts when the disgraced minister, after being charged with drugs offences, attacked the profession of journalism.
For more on the story of The Canterbury Tales, together with modern English translation of the above text, please see http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/source/CT-prolog-para.html
Spiritual advice for Buddhist monks encountering London Mayor on Tube
0The Witch of Worcester was sad to learn that a Buddhist monk had been so distracted by the appearance of the Mayor of London on the tube that he lost his lap top computer as a consequence. The story of Lelung’s Rinpoche’s fateful encounter with Boris Johnson, widely reported in the media last month, was summed up thus by The Daily Mail – “A Tibetan monk who posed for a selfie with London Mayor Boris Johnson was so caught up in the moment that it caused him to lose a laptop containing his life’s work” (Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2613281/Tibetan-monk-posed-THIS-selfie-Boris-Johnson-caught-moment-lost-laptop-containing-lifes-work.html#ixzz31JyxnajD) Buddhist Monks beware Boris Johnson when travelling on the London Underground is surely the moral of the tale! The Witch’s spiritual interpretation of the incident is that the Mayor of London channelled the demon known as Mara in Eastern faiths – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mara_%28demon%29 According to Buddhist cosmology, Mara “is a tempter, distracting humans from practicing the spiritual life by making mundane things alluring, or the negative seem positive.” (Wikipedia) There can be few better descriptions of a philandering politician than that!
TESCOGRAD RETREAT MAKES CHANCELLOR WEEP
0The Witch is Not Dead! She has, however, been journeying in metaphysical realms during recent months, visiting snowy wastelands – think Narnia – far colder than Britain in the grip of the “Big Chill”. Long-term readers of The Witch of Worcester’s blog will know that she is engaged in a struggle encompassing Middle Earth and Middle England to prevent despoliation of town and country by the advance of Tescograd. Although such urban sprawl partly takes its name from a well-known supermarket chain, the phenomenon should reallly be thought of as a hybrid spatial planning system (or political land economy even) which combines the worst of free market capitalism with a soviet-style administrative apparatus at both central and local government levels. The system is also heavily spun by both Whitehall politicians and bureaucrats, and their local equivalents, using the Kremlin technique of “Dezinformatsiya” (or Disinformation) to camouflage policies and generally dumb down the planning process. That one of the prime movers in its creation should now be in retreat, an announcement co-coinciding with the funeral yesterday of a former British prime minister, is, therefore, a blow to the powers that be and reason, along with mourning the passing of The Iron Lady, why Chancellor Osborne was seen weeping in St Pauls.
TRICK OR TREAT NEXT WEEK?
0As the Sun moves in to Scorpio, and the Season of Saturnalia (and other Hocus Pocus) draws in too, The Witch can congratulate herself for good behaviour during the month of Libra, but wonders what next week holds.
FORMER MRS BORIS JOHNSON BETTER MP FOR MID-WORCESTERSHIRE
0It is not often that The Witch of Worcester feels it necessary to recant the contents of a previous post, but she is going to do so on this occasion. However, first let her set out the context for this recantation.
In recent weeks, the Duchess of Cambridge’s breasts have received much media attention. Personally, The Witch has no desire to see the Duchess’s naked bosom, or, indeed, to hear mention of the matter ever again. Nevertheless, if this subject greatly titillates the foreign media so must it be! We British are, after all, remarkably two-faced about sexification and sexualisation in the media. On the one hand, we have some of the most salacious gentlemen of the press in the world, and, on the other, we are an unremarkable lot of boring prudes. It is precisely the boring prudishness of the British that The Witch wishes to exorcise in her present post.
Now, whilst Mayor of London Boris Johnson does not seem to be a boring prude, it is former wife, Allegra Mostyn-Owen, who may yet do more for challenging the boring prudishness of the British than her ex-husband. So what better lady to represent the constituents of Mid-Worcestershire than she!
For those unfamiliar with the personal history of Ms Mostyn-Owen, she is, like Boris Johnson, a sometime writer, but there almost all similarity ends. For although Allegra started adult life as a cover girl for Tatler magazine and had all the desirable attributes for the life of young Johnsonian consort, when the gentlemen left her for his present wife, Ms Mostyn-Owen followed what most would regard as a remarkable path. Discarding the life of a Tory Girl, she set out on a creative and spiritual journey to the East End of London, teaching art and English to the Muslim community there.
However, this extra-ordinary journey only became interesting to the British press when Allegra, no courter of publicity, married a man twenty years her junior in Pakistan in 2010. Not just embracing Islam, Ms Mostyn-Owen has expressed willingness to share her partner with another younger wife, after the way of the Prophet himself. What a remarkably liberated and liberating woman! The Witch is reminded of the great actress Tilda Swinton, whose domestic arrangements came to the attention of the media a couple of years ago when she was found to be enjoying a menage a trois with an older husband and younger lover.
So let a New Worcestershire Woman of Allegra Mostyn-Owen’s substance, regardless of religion, politics or marital status, succeed Mr Peter Luff as MP for the Mid-Worcestershire constituency, and thereby liberate Middle England from its stuffiness and sexual prudery.
The Witch of Worcester 
